Vegetable Soup

I feel a bit like a vegetable soup, everything is mixed up. All of my emotions and feelings are tangled up like a spaghetti. I am lost in a maze and my feet are tied. I cannot move and I'm cold. I need a hug but I don't want to get too close. I want to be alone, yet I don't want to be lonely. I want to be happy but I don't seek perfection. I want to be a bird so I can fly free in the sky. but I don't want to lose you. I want to feel you but I don't want to breath the same air. I want to know what I want so I can make choices. They don't have to be right as long as I experience the feeling of certainty. I miss that feeling and I miss you. You look but you don't see me. You hear but you don't listen. You touch but you don't feel. I'm drowning, I'm gasping for air and I'm grabbing hold of you. You slip from my hands, I try again. I'm holding you but I might let go. Look at me, listen like you used to and feel what you're meant to.